Why We Are Delaying Kindergarten For Our Son |Building Our Story Yum

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Why We Are Delaying Kindergarten For Our Son

Should I Wait Another Year To Send My Child To Kindergarten?


A question that has been floating through our minds, home and conversations for over a year.  After a lot of discussion Jeremy and I came to this answer  - YES!  Obviously, this is our decision and yours might differ but here are some of the reasons we decided to "Red Shirt" Jude for a year.  

Why We Are Delaying Kindergarten For Our Son, Red shirting our son for kindergarten, waiting to start kindergarten for our son, Should I redshirt my Kindergartener?, why we are delaying kindergarten for our son

Jude has a summer birthday, he will turn 5 on June 25th.  We certainly could have had his preschool graduation in May but instead he will be sticking around the preschool classroom for one more year.  This was a very hard decision and Jeremy and I did not take this lightly.  One of the hardest parts of the decision for us was that he would be saying "goodbye" to some of his classmates and friends.  My parents are both retired teachers and they really helped with our decision - they had seen the young kids and the old kids in their classrooms through out the years of teaching and their professional opinion was that the older more mature socially and mentally student was the student who excelled in school, sports and extra curricular activities. 


Reason's To Delay Kindergarten:


1.  We find that although Jude is so intellengent he really lacks in the focus and social department.  Another year of learning how to be a functioning person around others will benefit him for life!  

2.  A lot of times boys are the students the need that extra year - I can totally see that in Teagan, she is a lot more mature socially than Jude ever was at 2.  

3.  Jude is a large boy - we are talking 100 percentile in height 80 percentile weight!  I worried about him being the biggest kid in his class growing up but also being the youngest.  The expectations that are set on larger kids are a lot higher - people think Jude is a 7 year old so when he acts like the 4 year old he is we get the side eye. 

4.  Time - turn back time.  Childhood is precious.  Having this extra year of shorter days at school will still allow us and him to enjoy an extra year of childhood!  I find this a blessing actually.  

5.  High School - yes, high school!  Seems pretty far off but the reality is that it will come quickly.  He will be the first to do things.  I am hopeful that this will lessen the possibility of him following his peers - instead he will be the leader.  

6.  Hearing people heading off to college who had just turned 17 scares me!  17!!  NO!  Just like high school, choices are important.  The idea of a child leaving the home for the first time at 17 seems a bit crazy to me.  When I started thinking about this decision in the long term it made perfect sense to do this delay now. 

7. I do not want to wait to delay because if in elementary school we find he is struggling I would hate to completely uproot his educational foundations and move him to a new classroom.  

8.  After discussing with Jude's teacher whom he has had for 2 day preschool and 3 day preschool she assured me that the extra year of preschool will only give Jude more time to grow, mature and sharpen his focus.  I trust her!  


So those are our reasons.  This means we will have 3 preschool first day of school photos for our little guy.  Again, what a blessing we have - more time in childhood and more time to grow and benefit in the long run.  Every child is different and every situation is different.  We are excited for our choice and know that Jude will love his classroom again for year 3!  


Tell me your plans for Kindergarten! 

What are your thoughts on Delaying Kindergarten for children?  


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26 comments:

  1. I get confused with the age and school differences in the US vs the UK.

    In the UK he would have normally been at school (reception class for a year - they go from the September in the year they turn 5. Preschool for us is age 3-4.

    We're the other way round with N. He's been in nursery since he was 1 (day nursery, and then since just before he was 3, in nursery school/preschool). He's a January birthday so will be towards the older end of the school year. He's definitely ready socially (probably more so than academically) and is outgrowing the younger children at preschool, but even the summer birthday kids seem ready according to their parents. So it seems really odd to me that anyone with a child who's been used to preschool/nursery for so long, wouldn't put their child into school at the normal time.

    There are a few parents I know who have rising 5s who turn 5 in September so should go to school then, but were premature and developmentally behind their actual age, because of that prematurity, they're holding them back a year to start next year instead. This makes more sense.

    But I know August birthday children who've gone to school at the normal time and have been fine - coped well academically, socially and thriving.

    The expectations of them in the US at different school levels may be different to those in the UK, but I know recently in the UK holding children back has grown to be more newsworthy in the last year or two.

    One worry there is over here is that if children are held back (often it's postcode/city dependent), they might be told they have to miss out the reception year which defeats the object. They also have to reapply for a place at the school, therefore meaning there's fewer places available for kids who should be going in that year, and they might not get the place they might have had in the correct year.

    All very complicated, whatever choice you make.

    Sounds like you made the right choice for your family though.

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    1. Very interesting Emma. I have family in the Netherlands and it is so crazy how different US to Europe we are in terms of education/classes/ages/ect. Jude has been in Preschool for 2 days his first year, then 3 days last year and then this coming year will be in 5 days. Just a progression of more class time. Thanks for your input - you are exactly right - it is a complicated choice no matter what choice you make!

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  2. I wish I had waited to send my son! Too late now....

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  3. Eyan starts at a rural small kindergarten in the fall. I think he is ready and so did his preschool teacher. We will see how Kinder goes and possibly hold the boy back for Kindergarten if he needs more time. However, he is a good listener and learner and is a bit older than Mr. Jude. I think you guys are making a great decision for your family. Preschool in Brighton costs an arm and a leg and is just not in the budget.

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  4. I think you are doing what's best for your child. I had the opposite problem my son is gifted and he has flown through school and is now that 15 year old taking college courses. He will graduate from HS and College at the same time it is terrifying. Good luck to Jude and savor every moment.

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  5. We are doing that with our son. I don't want him to be the youngest and for selfish reasons I want an extra year with him:)

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  6. I have a september boy, Sept 31 deadline, I held back and a June boy I sent. just depends

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  7. Here kindergarten.starts at age 4. I've always felt all mine were beyond ready at that point except my now 4 year old who is starting in September and I'm not so sure I want to send him! - jeanine

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  8. I am a September baby and my mom sent me to kindergarten at 4. I never gave it any thought if I would delay this if and when I have children.

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  9. Those are great questions. I wish I have waited for my son. He was not ready

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  10. I waited with my son. It was the time he needed.

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  11. I wish I had realized that it is not just a matter of age, but a matter of educational and emotional readiness, when my son was that age. As a parent, we do have choices about our children's readiness. Make the best decision for your child, not for society. That would be my best advice.

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  12. Age and maturity are so important to this decision. I have seen kids start kindergarten that were nowhere near ready. Each kid is different.

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  13. Maturity and the ability to cope without their parents is a MUST when sending off to Kindergarten. All four of my children actually started early at the age of 4 as they have always been exposed extensively to children older than themselves. Not every child is the same, but some need the independence as well!

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  14. Age , Culture and readiness are all important factors. Here in Jamaica , children start school officially as early as 2 1/2 provided that the are potty trained and able to talk. It might sound strange .. but every child is different

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  15. Sounds like you're making the right decision for your son. No one knows a child better than their parents!

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  16. I would! I kept my son in preschool another year, he was a September birthday, and needed that extra year!

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  17. I don't have human kids but my mom waited and delayed and then didn't send us to kindergarten.

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  18. I sent my son too early. He passed but we did opt to hold him back another year. Best decisions we could have made.

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  19. I delayed Kindergarten for my oldest daughter. Her birthday was just 10 days before the cutoff. I decided that with her personality, it was better for her to be one of the oldest in the class as opposed to the youngest.

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  20. IT's a hard choice. I was youngest in my class, but I was asked to skip 2 grades so I would have been REALLY young. My parents didn't let me, and I'm not sure how I feel about it looking back. My son just missed the cutoff so he couldn't go this year, and I think he was really ready and now we're seeing some behavioral issues. I think you have a great resource in your parents! Sounds like good guidance.

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  21. You are a great Mom! My grandson is very BIG too and looks way more mature than he is. Even in preschool he's had a bit of a hard time with unrealistic expectations put on him. So good for you!

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  22. I really wish I had delayed my son a year actually. He is now 18 but he did struggle his whole school career with being younger than mostly everyone in his grade. Not to mention the maturity level difference too sometimes was a hinderance.

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  23. You know your child better than anyone and your son will benefit from your decision. :)

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  24. I delayed it for my summer baby and haven't regretted it for a second!

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  25. I have two summer boys and we don't redshirt them. I am happy with my decision because someone's always gotta be the youngest! They are SO ready! It's definitely a huge decision. I'm sure it's perfect for your situation!

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